1. Scooters are the greatest invention. They fit on the subway and you can get to the train station really fast. (I live 5 blocks away.)
Also, scooters are really great for late-night grocery store runs.
2. Speaking of grocery stores, Trader Joe’s is the best. A bit crowded, but the best. And the cheapest. And when you don’t want to pay the $2 bus fare, it’s only an hour walk across the park to the closest T-Joes. Ha.
You can also buy a basil plant at said Trader Joe’s. You might think it’s a great investment, but it doesn’t work out so well when you accidentally kill the plant 1.5 weeks later. (RIP.) ((Also, we need moaR sun.))
5. When Rolling Rock is on sale at the grocery, buy 11 cases. (Why is beer so expensive in Manhattan?) The cashier might think you’re an alcoholic/throwing a rager, but you know the truth. (That you’ll just stash the beer away in strange places around the apartment like a chipmunk storing nuts for winter.)
6. Always buy sweaters with dogs on them whenever the situation presents itself. (Even if you don’t work at a company all about dogs.)
10. Gnomes are an acceptable form of apartment decor.